"There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist."
—Bossypants, Tina Fey
True that, Tina. Sadly, I'm pretty sure no one takes me seriously when I tell them I wish to someday dine at The Red Lobster in Times Square. Perhaps most people over the age of 12 simply find it too mortifying to dine at an establishment with a gigantic revolving red lobster right above the entrance.
Alas, until I can finagle someone into accompanying me to an actual RL, I guess Bisquick's cheddar garlic biscuit mix will have to do. They really are quite successful at approximating the real deal; I used to make them in college all the time. Just add water! I think Tina Fey would approve.